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    Explicit

    In our Western, especially English speaking culture, we consider everything sensual and sexual as a taboo as far as public discourse is concerned. It is somehow considered dangerous, disturbing or even degrading, and hence we try to ban it from being present in the open. By banning intercourse from discourse, though, we’ve not only thrown out the baby with the bathwater, but the whole bathtub as well.
    There is so much of aliveness lost in trying to ban sexuality and, in it’s wake, what we now deem ”sensuality“ – the term originally refers to ”anything senses“. How could you expect life to be full and real when you are dimming and obstructing your sensors?
    This is a poem and a reflection about how we handle this topic in our culture.

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    The Fly

    We do the things we do because we are where are. Over the course of my life I have learned a lot about seeing myself and life differently. That has lead me into greater personal freedom. The path, though, is long and there is still so much more to learn.
    For all the things I know and others don’t (just like I didn’t know, not too long ago), it’s easy to get proud and insolent. Yet there is also a choice to become compassionate; an interesting term that literally means „to suffer with someone“. In doing so, I expand myself into the up and the below. But, ah, why make it so complicated. It’s just a fly!

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    The Pearl

    Oh my, the power of falling in love! It all starts with seeing something in this significant other, may it be a lover or landscape, a song or sight. All of a sudden my eyes are being opened and the character of this other touches me. This is where stories begin, this is what makes the world turn round.

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    Salto Mortale

    There is a curious thing: When I hold life very tightly, everything becomes a rather tiresome and exhausting affair. When on the other hand I hold things loosely, I may discover that things seem to come to me without me really doing a lot. This doesn’t mean I’m passive.
    The way to this direction leads through most unlikely doors of which death is an essential one. The tiny deaths we have to die in our life, and sometimes ugly big ones, allow us to prepare. Facing death brings a most remarkable insight.

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    Into Ever

    There is a proof that everything is consciousness, says Sogyal Rinpoche in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, because everything we know about our existence and the world happens in our consciousness. When you think of it, it really is the only thing we have. 

    So it is kind of curious to take a step back from my awareness so as to ponder about what is in my awareness, what it is about. Here’s a poem, inspired by the beautiful hills of Dartmoor, and my oh my, how the beauty of that place first had me sink into it and then sank into me, so much that it has become a part of me.

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    Thru That Darkest Door

    Following my inner calling can lead me down a most adventurous path, and part of that journey is death – not necessarily physical death, but the death of something in my life. J. R. R. Tolkien put those oracle words into the mouth of Gandalf, “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
    Such a quest for your inner calling frequently leads to desperate moments in which I question everything and have a sense of being completely lost, in which I feel like a complete failure. This ”dark night of the soul”, as the Christian mystic John of the Cross has put it, seems to be a necessary passageway on this journey to that fertile land of which my longing informs me. Nothing for the faint of heart! But, oh my, how very worth it is the trip, once you’ve arrived, and how so very much worth it do those dark moments feel in hindsight. So, come on, put all your chips on the table and come on board …

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    It takes a strong I to create

    The ego doesn’t have a good rep in our world, and we all know why. Yet, there is a place for ego to navigate through this world. It is, so to speak, the captain who runs the ship and takes care so we do reach our destination. Any destination. When used properly it is a great servant to help us realize what’s important to us and what we want to realize.
    In no field is this more important then in art. The creative act is such a deeply personal act, as in its truest form in comes from deep within me. As an artist, I make myself vulnerable when I present my art. So the temptation is great to smooth things into a palpable, nice way. But to be true to your art can require you to be without compromise, to be daring, to be extreme. A strong ego, a strong I, is needed, to stay the course.

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    Crippled Army

    There are forces in this world, so utterly destructive, they leave a seemingly endless trail of traumatized victims behind. Yet, there is also a magic that can happen, where the hurtful grain of sand turns into a pearl and we develop into the wounded healers. That’s when dark turns into light and the path of life continues. Surely we’re not leaving the world to darkness, not our own world, not the world at large. We fight for the Light! We’re the Crippled Army!

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    Autumn

    Living my life fully is key to be able and let go gracefully when that final last goodbye comes around. It’s all about beauty. Rather than postponing life, it is good to ask yourself from time to time whether the life you are living is really the one you want to live. This is your one precious moment of being alive.
    Living fully is not for the faint of heart. And yet, there is nothing like knowing you have followed your heart, your calling, your passion, your intuition.