The colours lost their meaning
| | | |

The Colours Lost Their Meaning

A poem about loosing a loved one

A broken heart is an injury just as much as a broken leg is. The heartache of a breakup or another kind of loss can throw us back at ourselves in a way few other things do. But there is something deeply healing about feeling the pain and sadness and letting the tears and cries flow. It helps us in letting go that which we have lost, the loved person that is gone now. A poem about loss.

Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 Intro
  • 00:00:26 The Colours Lost Their Meaning – Solo
  • 00:02:57 Why loosing someone hurts so bad
  • 00:10:19 The Colours Lost Their Meaning – Remix
  • 00:14:20 Outro

Transcript

The Colours Lost Their Meaning

Glowing ember of a sunrise
Holds cold dark clouds
The promises of daylight

Tantalizing beauty
A harmony divine
As if a breath
Drawn to start singing

Yet there is no sound
There are no words
There is no song

All the lines are broken
As the colours lost their meaning
As there is no you

Lonely bird
Cuts through the vastness
Of a deadened winter sky

And the colours slowly fading
Into shapeless cloudy pale
So much beauty lost there
All that’s left is why

All the colours fading
Into a silent day

Emptiness is what I see
No more you
No more we
Now it’s all just me

©️ Laughing Brook/Peter Müller 2024

Why loosing someone hurts so bad

When I wrote this heartbreak poem, a relationship was falling apart. All the unclarity she left me in was just smokes and mirrors, as I found out in the end. She had turned away a long time ago. As Prince put it so poignantly: „She’s gone, she’s gone, and I’m still here“. As I wrote this poem one heartbroken morning, early on in the whole painful coming apart, I didn’t want to believe it, and yet, this poem shows – I already knew.

We used to have this thing going where we would send each other pictures, and she was a masterful photographer and an artist. It taught me to look at the world with a different pair of eyes, with more artistic attention. Those sunsets and sunrises that framed my day where dedicated to her. And then, one cold January morning, I felt the pain of something broken. I looked around, I couldn’t see anything, until I realized it was my heart. 

Why is it so painful to loose someone who’s close to you? 

There was a time where we didn’t even know each other, and I was happy. Why should it be so hard to go apart? Why is it so painful?

Looking at my pain lead me down some obscure and uncharted roads inside myself. It all began with allowing myself  to feel and to experience. The immensely painful sense of loss lead me to see, how being close with another person creates a we, which becomes part of who I am, part of my identity. Loosing this part is in a way like a limb torn off, it feels and unfolds the same way and it can be just as devastating. Or maybe even more.

Losing a significant other is also loosing a future – the things we could have done together, could have experienced together, the life I could have had and that I wanted to have with her. The life I wanted to lead. Losing this significant other forces me to move and change, and my sadness showed me, how much I wanted this lost life, how much I wanted this future, wanted it back. But it ain’t coming back no more. This invites me, rather than looking for something that isn’t going to be anymore, to become present with what already is around me, what actually is around me and follow my path as it invites me within the things I see.

She was gone. 

Who’s to blame?

Blame won’t do a thing but make me bitter. Of course it hurt, it hurt like crazy. Of course there was sadness, and anger. And there remains the gnawing question „Why?“, but in the end that is yet another way of holding on. So all there really is, is to feel all the pain, take a hard look at myself to see why things have come to be what they are, to learn some sobering lessons and then, in the happy sunshine of a heart that has become more free and filled with more light, enjoy the opulence of life as it most certainly will keep flowing, even though I may feel like all the colours have lost their meaning. And if I care, be that love that I was so hungrily seeking to receive, and let it flow from my heart into the world. Until love awakes us all.

And yet.

When I’m in pain, I am in pain. It won’t do any good to push it away, as it will only fester and metastasise in those silent depths I pushed it to. Better to feel it, let all my tears flow and all my cries be cried. As it is here now, this too will pass. Just like that thing I’m grieving about so much. Just like that person that is gone now. It is going to pass. Everything does.

Outro:

My name is Laughing Brook, I am a poet, dancer, mystic, nature coach and man whisperer. 

If you like what you’ve been hearing and would want to support me, please leave a positive rating and a comment on which ever platform you are listing to this podcast. This helps others to become aware of it. Share it with friends. And most of all – come back for the next episode. 

This podcast will continue without any fixed schedule, as life happens and verses come. So please subscribe to be in the loop and check back occasionally for any new poetry. For more info about me and things beyond this podcast, please check out laughingbrook.net. Thank you for listening, and – keep on flowing, bumping and jumping with the stream of life.

Similar Posts

  • | | | |

    It takes a strong I to create

    ByPeter Müller

    The ego doesn’t have a good rep in our world, and we all know why. Yet, there is a place for ego to navigate through this world. It is, so to speak, the captain who runs the ship and takes care so we do reach our destination. Any destination. When used properly it is a great servant to help us realize what’s important to us and what we want to realize.
    In no field is this more important then in art. The creative act is such a deeply personal act, as in its truest form in comes from deep within me. As an artist, I make myself vulnerable when I present my art. So the temptation is great to smooth things into a palpable, nice way. But to be true to your art can require you to be without compromise, to be daring, to be extreme. A strong ego, a strong I, is needed, to stay the course.

  • | |

    The Cave

    ByPeter Müller

    A paradox is often pointed out, seemingly as a proof that a certain statement or a thing cannot right or correct. Yet as one ventures down the road of life and looks at what we call reality, paradoxes keep coming along.
    If I bother to be bothered by paradoxes, they can lead me into uncomfortable places where what I know seems to be contradicted – a humbling and unsettling moment. Beyond this feeling of unease, though, lies something which is larger than the world I came from. It’s a bit like going into the pitch black dark of a cave. Who knows what secret is waiting there for me…

  • | | | | |

    Thru That Darkest Door

    ByPeter Müller

    Following my inner calling can lead me down a most adventurous path, and part of that journey is death – not necessarily physical death, but the death of something in my life. J. R. R. Tolkien put those oracle words into the mouth of Gandalf, “It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”
    Such a quest for your inner calling frequently leads to desperate moments in which I question everything and have a sense of being completely lost, in which I feel like a complete failure. This ”dark night of the soul”, as the Christian mystic John of the Cross has put it, seems to be a necessary passageway on this journey to that fertile land of which my longing informs me. Nothing for the faint of heart! But, oh my, how very worth it is the trip, once you’ve arrived, and how so very much worth it do those dark moments feel in hindsight. So, come on, put all your chips on the table and come on board …

  • | | | |

    Swan Song

    ByPeter Müller

    Breaking up with a loved one is a painful tragedy. And yet, how many great stories (and heartbreak poems…) are born from tragedies. When heartbreak is on, it can feel devastating. And there’s no sugarcoating, this is so hard to be with.
    But it need not be the end of the story. This breakup poem is, really, a love poem about a greater love.

  • | | |

    The Pearl

    ByPeter Müller

    Oh my, the power of falling in love! It all starts with seeing something in this significant other, may it be a lover or landscape, a song or sight. All of a sudden my eyes are being opened and the character of this other touches me. This is where stories begin, this is what makes the world turn round.

  • | |

    Sailing the Dark Sea

    ByPeter Müller

    We all want to meet the bliss of enlightenment. The path to it, though, which we call life, is rarely that simple. Generally, it is not straight, but full of contradictions and what seems to be dead ends and detours. It may lead us through tough places, but it is so worth it to continue on and to not run away from this darkness, for eventually it will lead us to where we so long to be.
    The way out, liberation, is, really, to realize that everything has been there all along, to make my peace with it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *