The Colours Lost Their Meaning

A poem about loosing a loved one

A broken heart is an injury just as much as a broken leg is. The heartache of a breakup or another kind of loss can throw us back at ourselves in a way few other things do. But there is something deeply healing about feeling the pain and sadness and letting the tears and cries flow. It helps us in letting go that which we have lost, the loved person that is gone now. A poem about loss.

Chapters:

• 00:00:00 Intro
• 00:00:26 The Colours Lost Their Meaning – Solo
• 00:02:57 Why loosing someone hurts so bad
• 00:10:19 The Colours Lost Their Meaning – Remix
• 00:14:20 Outro

Transcript

The Colours Lost Their Meaning

Glowing ember of a sunrise
Holds cold dark clouds
The promises of daylight

Tantalizing beauty
A harmony divine
As if a breath
Drawn to start singing

Yet there is no sound
There are no words
There is no song

All the lines are broken
As the colours lost their meaning
As there is no you

Lonely bird
Cuts through the vastness
Of a deadened winter sky

And the colours slowly fading
Into shapeless cloudy pale
So much beauty lost there
All that’s left is why

All the colours fading
Into a silent day

Emptiness is what I see
No more you
No more we
Now it’s all just me

©️ Laughing Brook/Peter Müller 2024

Why loosing someone hurts so bad

When I wrote this heartbreak poem, a relationship was falling apart. All the unclarity she left me in was just smokes and mirrors, as I found out in the end. She had turned away a long time ago. As Prince put it so poignantly: „She’s gone, she’s gone, and I’m still here“. As I wrote this poem one heartbroken morning, early on in the whole painful coming apart, I didn’t want to believe it, and yet, this poem shows – I already knew.

We used to have this thing going where we would send each other pictures, and she was a masterful photographer and an artist. It taught me to look at the world with a different pair of eyes, with more artistic attention. Those sunsets and sunrises that framed my day where dedicated to her. And then, one cold January morning, I felt the pain of something broken. I looked around, I couldn’t see anything, until I realized it was my heart. 

Why is it so painful to loose someone who’s close to you? 

There was a time where we didn’t even know each other, and I was happy. Why should it be so hard to go apart? Why is it so painful?

Looking at my pain lead me down some obscure and uncharted roads inside myself. It all began with allowing myself  to feel and to experience. The immensely painful sense of loss lead me to see, how being close with another person creates a we, which becomes part of who I am, part of my identity. Loosing this part is in a way like a limb torn off, it feels and unfolds the same way and it can be just as devastating. Or maybe even more.

Losing a significant other is also loosing a future – the things we could have done together, could have experienced together, the life I could have had and that I wanted to have with her. The life I wanted to lead. Losing this significant other forces me to move and change, and my sadness showed me, how much I wanted this lost life, how much I wanted this future, wanted it back. But it ain’t coming back no more. This invites me, rather than looking for something that isn’t going to be anymore, to become present with what already is around me, what actually is around me and follow my path as it invites me within the things I see.

She was gone. 

Who’s to blame?

Blame won’t do a thing but make me bitter. Of course it hurt, it hurt like crazy. Of course there was sadness, and anger. And there remains the gnawing question „Why?“, but in the end that is yet another way of holding on. So all there really is, is to feel all the pain, take a hard look at myself to see why things have come to be what they are, to learn some sobering lessons and then, in the happy sunshine of a heart that has become more free and filled with more light, enjoy the opulence of life as it most certainly will keep flowing, even though I may feel like all the colours have lost their meaning. And if I care, be that love that I was so hungrily seeking to receive, and let it flow from my heart into the world. Until love awakes us all.

And yet.

When I’m in pain, I am in pain. It won’t do any good to push it away, as it will only fester and metastasise in those silent depths I pushed it to. Better to feel it, let all my tears flow and all my cries be cried. As it is here now, this too will pass. Just like that thing I’m grieving about so much. Just like that person that is gone now. It is going to pass. Everything does.

Outro:

My name is Laughing Brook, I am a poet, dancer, mystic, nature coach and man whisperer. 

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